Where I work, there are a handful of subjects that are tabu to talk about. These subjects include a variety of things that are alien to my colleagues.
Seeing I'm the type of person who finds it very difficult to be quiet at the best of times, I haven't really managed to obey these unwritten rules; especially since these subjects aren't alien at all to me.
So when I started and found out one of the ladies in my department lived with another woman, I simply asked if they were a couple. In my world it is not an unusual thing to live with the same sex. Nor is it bad to talk about it. But in the world of my department, this was a subject to be avoided, and so I got the answer that noone had ever asked, nor should I.
I pointed out that if they were, in fact, a couple living togheter, surely they weren't trying to keep their relationship a secret?
Sadly, about about a month after I started at my office, this woman passed away. I never attended the funeral, but of course my colleagues who'd worked alongside the lady for more than 20 years did.
The morning after the funeral, everybody seemed aggitated. During our 08.45 am coffee break one of the women said
Surely she must've been in one of those clubs?
I asked what kind of clubs.
You know - one of THOSE clubs...
I said I really didn't have a clue what kind of club she was talking about. Another woman butted in:
Oh yes. The church was full of them. You could tell - they all had the same hairstyle as each other!
Now they all joined in, excited and eager to tell how to spot "one of those":
It's the mullet haircut - it's such a giveaway!
They never wear skirts, do they? I should've known she was one of those... She always wanted to sit next to me! They always hold hands and do stuff in front of your face. It's disguisting!
By this point I just had to step in. Asked if they seriously thought that all lesbians belonged to a club? Did they really think they could TELL who's a lesbian or not?
The ladies around me went quiet. And stared.
You see, I'm the only one in my department who's single. And I also refuse to discuss my private life with these old, nosy biddies.
I could see the fear of the unknown in their eyes: Was ms. Marple one of those lesbians? Was that the reason for her not airing her private life every Monday morning at the 08.45 am coffee break despite their best tries of an interogation?
I excused myself and went back into my office. Quietly pleased with leaving them wondering, but at the same time repeating my mantra over and over to myself:
"It's not a normal environment they're living in, it's not their fault for being prejudice."
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3 comments:
"T", an old school mate from the northern part of Sweden, recently revealed to his parents that he is gay. This caused his father to quit work due to the chock, and not so encouraged by this, T went on to his grandfather to tell him the same thing:
"Just as good" his granpop said, "there are so many crazy women out there!"
I will keep myself anonymous as well!
I belong to a club - a rather posh cricket club - too although I don't tell my Latin or Sub Saharian neighbours this. More than once have I seen these immigrants gossip about me. This has to stop! Secretely they make fun of my posh ways...I am just offering them a cup of tea!!
Well written article.
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